#im autistic. ive got to find new safe foods the ones i have now are too much

[pothos-banshee]

My partner and I are supposed to be on a diet rn and I told him I was struggling with it and he said I Know, I Can Tell and now I want to never eat again. What the fuck is wrong with me.

He's also like its easy for me to do when I know im doing it for you, and that made me feel even shittier.

He's gonna make all this progress and outpace me and i just wanna curl into a ball forever

[tumblunni]

The cafe at the hotel + a nice meal WITH TERROR LURKING

I specifically asked for no peas because peas are a problem for me with my autism but OH WELL I GUESS PEAS and i was too embarassed to ask the damn chef to take it back and like..bin everything that touched the peas.

Its so fuckin stupid i feel like such a child

BUT

I know its really fuckin dumb but i feel really accomplished to say this is the first time i have ever finished a plate of peas without throwing up.

Its my fuckin weirdest brain problem, i get really oversensitive to some textures and its the height of extreme embarassment whenever it happens. I wish so fuckin much that it was something i got over when i grew up, it sucks to be a full grown adult and still get an involuntary gag reflex and full on pulse racing panic just from your tongue touching ONE PEA IN A THING. (Also sweetcorn cos its similar in texture)

And all the years of my childhood being told i was 'just being picky' and somehow making up being sick and just getting slapped and given more goddamn peas to train me out of it. Well all that ever accomplished was getting me to panic at the mere sight of the things and have to compulsively pick them out and pick out everything that touched them like man i cant even eat a thing that looks like it was near a pea!!!!

BUT HOLY HELL IVE FINALLY CRACKED IT IVE FINALLY CONQUERED MY STUPIDEST GODDAMN FOE

Not by 'just manning up' and doing it again and again until something changes. No, turns out this entire time i could have just made a really minor change to avoid the cause of the freakout. Cos this is actually the first time ive tried MUSHY PEAS

Yes, the epitome of cliche boring british person food was actually the solution all along???

See it was entirely a texture thing, and when theyre mashed up it just doesnt do anything at all. This is actually my first time even knowing what peas actually taste like! I cant believe my friggin PEA JITTERS were so strong i never even registered one percent of wtf they taste like. They taste like nothing?? Like just..generic vegetable. Slightly vinegary i guess. (Or do they put vinegar in mushy peas?) I still dont like them but i dont hate them either, and more importantly they dont destroy my entire frontal cortex with The Terror Sweats

So i was able to eat all those peas and now i know the secret technique to eat all peas for the rest of time! And it was a super easy thing that my parents could have done for me with minimal effort and saved all that trouble if they just actually listened to me all those years ago. I cant belueve i was so locked into the whole 'its your fault you have to keep trying you cant try doing it another way' mindset that i never simply squashed the pea under my fork and tried to see if it was better...

Though it still wasnt exactly easy, i had to try and eat this stuff while not actually looking at the peas cos itd make my stomach churn just thinking about them. I think i can get past that gut reaction eventually if i keep eating them in Safe Non Anxiety Form and like..rewire my brain to see this as a New Food instead. I dunno. Maybe put food colouring so they arent green?

It sucks that i have to go to such weird lengths to deal with my brainweirds but im just glad to have figured something out so i dont have to embarass myself again.

Most of my other touch-based sensitivities are stuff i can deal with like just not being able to deal with those outer ear headphones puttibg pressure on the back of my head or also hats that are too tight. I think it actually might be part ptsd from how my mum used to pull me by the back of my head. My support workrr touched me on my shoulder near the back of my neck the other day and i had such a spike of panic but i felt too embarassed to tell her about it. Like she was just tapping me to get my attention but its just..just please dont. And aside from that im also working on my big taste sensitivity to mint and bitter stuff. Today i had a lightly bitter green tea boba and i feel so grateful to my buddy for helping me find one tea i can handle! And ive found that i can deal with mint if its mixed with a second thing thats equally as strong. I tried this mint and pepper drink that sounded like itd be awful but it was actually amazing how it cancelles out the mint entirely! So i dunno should i buy some of that novelty spicy chewing gum and chew a stick of that along with the mint stuff? I have a low tolerance for spice but its not like an overstimulation thing its just regular having white guy tastebuds lol. Id much rather have a burning hot tongue than a burning hot brain!

I will slowly but surely find out a way to deal with all of my things!! Even if i cant ever get rid of them i can find a way to live with them, ykno?

Also i need to try and buy a fidget toy, i need to stop being too embarassed about that. My friend i met today is also autistic and she has a chew ring and im like WHOA i wish i could get over my anxiety enough to do that! Chewing on stuff is my biggest damn stim, i would destroy all my pens and pencils and chew bottlecaps so long they ended up as rubber, not to mention how much i wreck my nails and get so many cuts all over my hands whenever i get nervous. But it just seems like chewing on stuff is seem as the most immature type of autism symptom by neurotypical society. so im stuck too ashamed to buy the stuff actually designed to help us and instead i just keep doing it anyway and still embarassing myself but like also with a choking risk. I still remember when i accidentally choked on a coin and my dad spent the entire time i was in the emergency room making fun of me for it and saying i was a burden on the nhs for getting hospitalized and like..taking resources away from real problems. And how i was childish and r-worded and etc etc cant ever survive on your own cant ever be a fully sentient human being

Gahhh this has been a long tangeant but anyway this is why autism awareness and acceptance is good and also why you shouldnt make fun of people who have the 'weird version' of symptoms. Im not choosing to do this, seriously im way more upset by it than you are...

[lazytacomoon-blog]

Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

"Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

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Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

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I'm 16 years of age. i don't know that much about business. If i purchase a car, MUST i pay car insurance? is it mandatory? What will happen if I don't have car insurance?""

""Cheap auto Insurance in miami, fl?""

I recently moved here and need to buy insurance for my car. Ive been searching on-line and i am overwhelmed on how expensive the rates are here in fl compared to California where i use to live. I have never had quotes in the 100's. so do u know a cheap auto insurance company here in miami, fl I have a 95 ford mustang cv""

Whole life insurance and medicaid eligibility?

My father in Dallas Texas has a life insurnace face value of 10,000 and cash value, about 3500. Per medicaid rule he can't have the life insurance with those cash value. He is not on medicaid yet but with his condition of alzheimer, he soon needs to apply for medicaid. Any idea what needs to be done for the life insurance?...I am not sure if he can simply cancel the insurance to meet the medicaid requirement. He has no other asset and has less than 2000 in his bank account. Of course he does not work. ( he can't with his condition and he's over 70).""

Banned Driver - Cheap Insurance ????

hiya please can you help me i no i have done wrong so i dont need any comments about how i shouldnt be back on the road - i am willing to learn from mistakes !!!! does any1 no the cheapest car insurance company for go through when you have been banned ??? much appreciated x

350z or g35 coupe auto insurance?

I am 17 years old about to be 18 and I really want a nissan 350z or an infinity g35 coupe. I have been saving money for a few months to buy a used z or g35 but I never thought about what my insurance would be like. I am 17 with no real driving experience. I would be on my parents insurance, I had a 4.0 the last 2 years of high school so straight a's. I have a job(idk if that matters) I do not smoke. I live in California in a small town. I am a male. I dont know what else insurance companies look for so if you know of anything else please mention them in your reply. I'm just wanting to know if anyone has any kind of idea of what id be paying. Thanks""

I am looking for good insurance on a new car.?

I am 21 years old and getting my first new car. Where do you suggest I look for car insurance? I don't have the best driving record. I had an accident in Nov 2002 and a speeding ticket in July 2003. I want to get a lot of coverage, but I don't want to be paying anything outrageous. How much should I be expecting to pay for car insurance?""

I was in a car accident with no insurance.?

It was a minor accident no injuries and my insurance ran out 3 days before the accident, i have got insurance again but The person I was in an accident with is taking me to court to try and get $2800 for the damages. Now I know his vehicle is not worth more than $1000. Could that mean that I can pay the price that the car books for and then he will have to give me the title, like insurance companies do?""

Auto Insurance in Illinois?

I have my 18 year old daughter covered under my auto insurance policy. She is covered on her own car and mine as well. My question is, if she happens to get into an accident while driving her car, can the other person try and sue me since the policy is in my name? Also, if she lets someone else drive her car who has no insurance and they get into a wreck, can I be sued? She owns her own car and the title is in her name alone. We live in IL""

""I'm a independent freelancer, what can I do to get affordable health insurance?""

I live (rent an apartment) in Pittsburgh, PA. I do not require any life sustaining medication- what health care options are available to me and how do I go about getting it?""

When do you have to buy car insurance?

When do you have to buy car insurance? I've just bought my first car privately and expect to drive it home next Tuesday. However, I'm confused about the insurance. When should my insurance policy start? Does it have to be next Tuesday, too?""

How much money will I get from this car accident?

The air bag knocked me unconscious and so now my lawyer is handling everything. I don't have health insurance so the insurance so the drivers insurance company should for it. How much money could I get from a case like this if the drivers insurance company is Progressive with full coverage?

Auto insurance question?

I'm 20 yrs old and I'm thinking of signing up with state farm auto insurance. I'm buying a car and i have none. So can someone tell me what I need, where I have to go, and what i have to do to get this done?""

How much is a ticket for not having insurance on your car in oklahoma?

I'm writing a paper for my law study class and was wondering how much the average ticket for not having insurance on your car in oklahoma is? Thanks for the help!

""Hai, i need to go to Muscat by car is it possible to get insurance from hatta border for this car which is registered under my friend's name?""

Hai, i need to go to Muscat by car is it possible to get insurance from hatta border for this car which is registered under my friend's name?""

Car Insurance?

anybody know what the Uk cheapest car insurance for somebody with 15 years no claims discount car engine size 2.8cc?

Auto Insurance Question?

well I want to buy an E36 BMW M3 (1996-1999) in couple of months, but i want to know that how can i get an insurance quote from other insurance companies. My moms insurance name is Access, but i want to get quotes from different companies to see which one is the cheapest. the problem is that, i don't have the car yet and there are questions that the website asks that i can't say it because i don't have enough info about the car, and i can't bother the sellers if im not going to buy the car yet. so how do you think i can get an insurance quote online when i don't have the car yet. sorry if the question sounds confusing""

AAA vs. Farmers for home and auto insurance?

I'm looking to get a combined homeowners and auto insurance policy. Right now, the package that Farmers is offering based on my specs is 10% cheaper than AAA's. Any thoughts? Thanks!""

Who is offering the cheapest car insurance?

I am 21 with 3 years NCB, need to renew my insurance shortly. I know that alot of companies are not on the comparison websites, so does anybody know anywhere that is cheaper than the comparisions?""

How do I find out if my insurance covers Mirena?

I have Blue Advantage/MN Care for my health insurance and have been looking into getting the Mirena IUD.. I am on daily birth control pills now, but would like to switch to something more effective/semi permanent.""

Car insurance for a new driver?

i want to buy a small car, but im worried that the insurance will be expensive what company sell cheap insurance? how much about did you pay? i want a small car, like a 1 litre engine thank you""

What is the best dental insurances?

By the way i live in California! Hi i am looking for a dental plan for just my child so she can get affordable braces/headgear and also oral surgery! Im really trying to look for a great deal so i don't need to pay very much and it would be great if you could reply fast because she needs to get them hopefully before the break is over! Thanks!

No insurance and Pregnant in Florida?

Hey everyone.. im 19 and i just found out last night that there is a good chance of me being pregnant. I took two tests last night and they both came out with a faint pink line and a dark pink line. Now i dont have medical insurance, but im a part time student and i work full-time but my job doesnt offer any insurance coverage. Everyone keeps telling me that i need to go to the docot but i dont know what do do next if i dont have insurance. I' m in Orlando Florida so if anyone can help give me advice on what i should do next id realllllyy appreciate it. Thanks!""

Car damage from freeway road hazard. Will my rates go up if i fix thru insurance?

While driving on the freeway, a metal object from car in front of me fell and damaged the front of my car. Will my insurance raise my rates or negatively effect my insurance record if I go through insurance to get it fixed? I use Mercury insurance in California and I have standard collision coverage. Thanks""

Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

Granada Hills California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91344

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